//riddleofrevenge::-when the sun comes up, will it tear the skin right off our bones?

2004-08-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

i got a new phone and i am quite fascinated by it. haha 6230. i got sum's songs on them that was a cue for wen and mel to go crazy. heh.

i got a random thought. did we ever get rehearsels before we were born? if life is a play that we all have to act in..then did we get rehearsels and auditions? mistakes made..we improvise but in the end, it all turns out good right? i mean. curtain call, we still get appreciated and the applause of the audience right? bleah..going to type all this out on microsoft word now these thoughts are way too complicated. people might say i am pretentious. OH speaking of pretentious, my dad was reading the article on djs in singapore then he was struck with a VERY random thought

hey vanessa, go be a dj
er..ok dad
no wait..people will say that you are way pretentious
huh? why?
they will say "honkey then honkey lah why come and act singaporean"
oooooooooook dad. you are the weirdest person on earth
i know. and that's why you love me

OK I SHOULD JUST STOP THERE. like i said, my dad is way weird.

AMEYA was on idol! haha reading off a piece of paper. they should have shown him singing. he would have been funnier than that rocky guy. i saw leonard too! haha singing with gurmit or rather clapping. who would miss his monobrow haha

2004-08-06T22:59:00.000+08:00

ok. justin's mum and his brother are like outside now. funny how his mum and my mum are so enthu about going to china for community work.

sometimes i feel that life is so mundane. it is like something you are so excited about yet over so fast. dont you think we are growing up real fast. soon we'll be taking o's then jc or wherever. then we'll get married and get kids soon they'll grow up and we'll be taking care of our grandchildren and then looking forward to death.

my mum said this in the car "all of you kids grow up so fast. all of you already grown feathers and wings. ready to fly now" then she burst out laughing. i think she laughed to cover her tears. cos her eyes didnt look that happy. my sister is 21 now. shes in melbourne. soon, i'll be flying back to england and when i come back, my sister would hopefully be married and it'll be my turn. i can hardly blame my mum for feeling so emo. i mean, honestly, life isnt that long although it is the longest thing there is around.

it is like this event that you spend so much time anticipating. then more sooner than later, it is over and yea. you can feel as nostalgic as you want but it's over. and that's that. it's just sad dont you think? and this is too...i dont know. i'll blog when my thoughts are more organised.

2004-08-05T20:33:00.000+08:00

Johnny and i declared our love for hawker fare by drinking a large cup of grass jelly and eating a fairly small plate of sotong mee.

haha. we are now officially the von dutch team. haha had alot of fun with her whilst shopping for our class identity. shitloads of fun. she is now johnny dash and i am van dots. soo vd is my name now haha. anyway, we went ALL over the place. tiong bahru plaza, far east, walked to john little, orchard tower and then finally clarke quay where we got our ties. 15 red ties with octopuses and 15 with cows. 2 with thomas the tank engine for ms tay and mrs leong. haha. actually they arent that bad. haha.

havent gone out with johnny in the longest of times. was pretty close to her last year. oh well. we were sooooo tired in the end. my legs were shouting and begging for mercy. "have more merciful eyes can? --ms goh

WHICH REMINDS ME! she is returning to school next monday. like mel says...le sigh. with emphasis on the sigh. ms chia was quite cool. she knows my sister. cool stuff. so basically thats about it. johnny..i cant remember what esle i was supposed to say.

i am going to go tie the 15 ties i have in the chair next to me. gonna keep me up all night man. bleah. haha

P.S : B5..better bring a dollar to pay for the ties. johnny and i are now officially broke

2004-08-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

new link mia. all you people who are nice people should go there and tell him that his blog is fucking pink.

2004-08-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

thank you hoho. aprreciate it.
hello hannah. read comment below. besides, i have always been talking about timothy. ask anyone. if you find it annoying, sorry. it is just me. if anything offends anyone in this blog, again i apologize. pleasing people isnt one of my better traits. by the way, which hannah are you and how do you know about timothy. i prefer not to dwell on that topic cos dwelling=bad for my health. i do crazy things. but anyway, it IS sorted out and people who have a problem with that, go do some hand stands.

anyway...moving along. school today was well..pleasant. i fell over for the first time while rocking my chair. because of my new location in class, i rock my chair sideways instead of forwards/backwards. then, during chinese, i was rocking my chair as usual (very bad habit. alongside with biting people), i kind of slipped and tried to grab on to the table. ehm..that proved futile but anyway, i slipped and i tumbled onto the floor and rolled backwards. shit i was so humiliated. haha my face felt way hot. hahatimothy, despite what had happened, you know and i know that it was meant to happen and if we do pull through this together, thats way good but if we dont then we were never meant to be. think about it
i am such a complete and utter loser. haha. kari finally updated.

ham makes people think. yea. wouldnt it be nice.

2004-08-03T22:51:00.000+08:00

i met a new boy today. he was wearing a striped polo. i met him at kallang. his name is gabriel goh. he has the sweetest smile ever. when i talk to him or when he talks to me, he gazes at me with those heart melting eyes and you just want to hug him and tell him you'll love him forever. he held my hand. it felt as if everything in this world is made right again. the iraq war had never happened and 9/11 was never even thought of. sars meant nothing and scars never appeared on my skin. he seems so happy and at ease with the world that just makes you feel comfortable too. the only trouble is, he is four. haha

yes. i still love my little timothy. gabriel is this little boy i coach in the baby blades class. he is just so cute and yea. he is my little boyfriend. haha. bloody shutterfly is not working. oh well. pity.

class was so quiet during english. i bet everyone was doing their compre. if we can go on like this till o's or at least, exams and do this for every class, i'm sure we'll attain the goal we set for ourselves. Come On B5! We can do it!

ruirui:i doubled the rui cos ehm..it might mean another person. haha. thanks for the concern man. shawn was in school today. did you see him?bet you did. love you!

bekx:i dont think shirts and gloves is my fave song but yea one of my preferred choices of ehm..listening to songs. IT IS JUST SO SAD! i want to hear cc sing and seranade me to sleep..oh the things i'd do just to hear him say my name haha.

2004-08-02T20:25:00.000+08:00

thanks bekx trace and whoever who planned the surprise party. it was cool

anyone (guy/girl/whateverisinbetween) with a voice that matches Chris Carrabba's? Like I said to Wen a long time ago, I dont care if you are a guy, a girl, or whatever, straight, crooked or horizontal. I will fall head over heels with you if you can sing me Shirts and Gloves in perfect imitation of double C.. haha i hope you know i am NOT kidding. WAHAHAHAHAHA =D.

dashboard makes me said. smile empty soul makes me think. green day makes me kind of in between. <---the depressing details in my mp3. haha.

2004-07-31T23:26:00.000+08:00

playing:take me under//three days grace

sonic fest was cool. vertical rush and surreal were like whoa dude. haha. they were good. Shan's brother, esmond, proposed to his girlfriend today. so sweet!!! haha. i miss tim all over again. sucks.

anyway, i think i spent too much today. i bought like five badges (sonic fest, sonic edge, her reverie, surreal(x2)), a shirt(vertical rush) and a cd(magnify). 37 bucks i think. aye! i am overspending. haha. oh well. august is almost here. half an hour more till it is my birthday month (and alot of other people's) so yep..shoutouts-->

bwrenzie [7th] : hey! finally 15 eh. gonna go get our ics together. haha so fun! cant wait. thanks for always hearing me out when i am at the lowest of lows and just being a listening ear and confidante when i am so bloody sad and yep. just for being my bwrenzie. love you shitloads. :)

dee [9th] : hello dee. thanks for trying to advice me but i am not going to take it haha. that is like how bad of me. i know you are just trying to like help me but i dont know. i think i'll just see how things turn out. have fun.

lumpy/yoonsann [11th] : lumps! haha i love you man. since p5 (tying shoelaces together and making you hop from the canteen to the fourth level) till my crossie days (i miss them you know ironically, no matter how much i hated trainings haha) and like now (me just teasing and bullying you), you have been such a wonderful and fun person. just continue being who you are ok? yep.

lausanne [27th] : known you for what..12 years man. haha quite cool. i remember the days when i was in smps then i left then i dont know how we met up again in sec school. cool stuff. have fun being 15 and still being short. haha =p

is that all? oh well..wishlist! haha i dont know just very random:

1)smile empty soul cd
2)high striped socks (the colourful type)
3)timothy
4)nice little badges
5)three days grace cd
6)vertical rush cd (shoots evil eyes at shannon who was suppose to get it for me free
7)tim
8)notebooks? i dont know
9)tim
10)tim
.
.
....
.
...
..
.
.
110000000000xinfinity) timothy xie jia xi =(

so kill me with the love that you won't give to me
and pack the wound with salt i want to feel it bleed
for you//smile empty soul

2004-07-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

little things that remind me of you:
.goalkeepers
.beavers
.eeyore
.all the places we've been together
.a-math
.irish cream lattes
.your jackets hanging in my cupboard (you never did remind me)
.your letters
.our pictures
.the books you lent me but i never remember to return
.dashboard confessional
.travis the frog
.paul frank slippers
.fossil watch

this isnt a complete list. i hope you know i love you. eight months we've been together and we are just going to go forward. this phase will pass as you said to me. and at the end of it, our love for each other will be proven true and we'll just keep on going.

thanks to those who are always here. <3s to gina/mel/wen/shumz/shan/bekx/trace

2004-07-25T23:26:00.000+08:00

We have to escape and I will go anywhere
If you just lead the way
Escape to a place where we'll be together
Together everyday
We have to escape

We could be living how we wanted to
Instead of doing things we're forced to do
With no one to tell us that we should be
Going through what they went through
There has to be some place that nobody knows
Somewhere we can only go
There has to be some place that we can be all alone

timothy, we need to talk. shannon, call me right after you read this.

2004-07-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

Which of the bold faced lies will we use?
I hope that you're happy,
you really deserve it,
this will be the best for us both in the end.

But your taste still lingers on my lips
like I just placed them upon yours
and I starve
I starve for you.
But this new diet's liquid
and dulling to the senses.
And it's crude
but it will do.

~~Pouring over photographs I'm living in your letters Breathe Deeply from this envelope It smells like you And I can't be Without that scent It's filling me With all you mean to me~~

This pain in my arm is so much easier
I can't take it in my heart anymore.
I need the scars to remind myself
that I need you.
I need you.

You are the only one who understands.
The only one I want to understand.
If they all knew
It would only be worse.
They judge us; They sneer.
None of them see what we are.
What we could be
And what we can do.

Dashboard says it all. Our hearts are stapled together. ~~stapled~~. it hurts soooo bad but we have to stay together. i dont think either of us wants two holes in our hearts. the holes are never going to be patched up and even if we try to put them together again, it will never be the same. it is halfway out tim, are you going to drive it in again or are you going to take it out. can i trust you?

2004-07-24T23:09:00.000+08:00

i am ok. i am ok. i am ok. i am ok. i am ok. i am ok. i am ok. i am ok.

i forgave him i guess. what esle can i do? biggest mistake in his life. i slapped him hit the shit out of him. through it all i still love him. i know i am stupid i know i am dumb but i cant help it. i trust that God will change him. God would guide me. if God mean for us to break up, i would have broken up with him. we prayed by the RTC pool and that meant alot to me. To be able to pray and not be broken apart. God does mean for us to be together for a while i guess. i need to do quiet time. i'll be back

2004-07-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

due to public demand (actually only dee). the boot polish pics are finally up. these include the pics from shan's birthday.

yep. i am starting to love b5. as in really love. we are all so different yet we are able to connect on different levels and that i feel, is very very important in the process of class bonding. at the start of this year, there were some people that i really could not be bothered with and now, i find well, my take on them changed. drastically. i guess that is what growing up does to you. takes everything, puts it in a black box and shakes and re-arranges everything. life is one weird thing. but that's how life is and nothing is going to change that.

i really miss bootpolish. the crazy-ness of the guys and JELLY! haha prim got me addicted to that.

top ten list of things i miss the most:
1) Timothy
2) Boot Polish
3) Just hanging out with mi h0M!eS (shit shum and wen. i am influenced)
4) Being able to fall knowing someone will catch me
5) Being on the ice
6) Australia
7) Korea - Dream Program
8) The Innocent Years
9) Primary School
10) Those people who havent been coming to school you know who you are. haha

have i mentioned that melmo has the most amazing eyes? i was sitting at the steps with her after school and when she was just spacing out (as usual) i was staring at her side profile and her eyes are sooo damned beautiful. so look in there some time. you'll lose yourself. you are beautiful melmo and alot of people do care esp. me. love you shitloads (i only save this for tim so be honoured you mel strange you).

2004-07-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

a very quote-ty entry:

"you are so hot you fog up my glasses" - the potato queen ~~wannabe~~

i was doing ameer's make up on saturday for bootpolish. quite interesting conversation we had

Ameer : Eh van, now from ugly you made me fugly right?
Me : No..I made you from fugly to mfugly.

haha sorry. thought that was quite interesting. mfugly as in motherfugly? yea nevermind.

"I honestly dont want to die penniless, homeless and with nobody who loves me..I've been in there like swimwear and I'm not letting go! Whoever said there arent matches made in heaven?" - Timothy eeyorehunnyelliott Xie

2004-07-18T22:43:00.000+08:00

whoa. blogger changed the ehm..thing again. cool
anyway, my life has been insane. lets start from day one

friday:
-during pe, the whole class got damn high and we were doing the rain dance in the middle of the tennis courts. dont ask. haha
-IT WAS HAPPY GAY DAY so all of us were very gay =D
-rest of the day was ok. we didnt have a-math just slacked around
-BOOT POLISH day one. the sec fours' second last performance. everyone was so crazy and it was soooooo fun
-we managed to pull it off the audience was great and everyone remember everything
-yong neng, my dear korkor, sent some guy sliding on his knees, on stage to give me flowers during curtain call in front of fanny tan and everyone. how !embarressing!
-i got lots of flowers from all my friends who came (thanks guys) it was really really fun

saturday:
-went out with tim
-he got me the Da Vinci code so that was really sweet of him
-Acsi for final rehearsels before BOOT POLISH day two.
-everyone was sooooo super high
-Jx cried that poor boy. he is the president of acdc and he was mighty stressed and all of the sec fours were all so sad. last performance, last curtain call.
-i screwed this night up but it was ok. Primrose FINALLY GIGGLED! haha
-all the guys were all still calling her blond and everything. rehearsels are so fun. details next time when i feel nostalgic
-after that alvin's class all came so the cpa were filled with shouting and laughing. endorphin rush
-screaming into cameras
-debrief, almost everyone cried. everyone hugged, everyone shook hands, exchanged numbers
-ACSI DRAMA NIGHT 2004 officially over.
-had tissue prata and chicken outside my place (it is soooooo bloody good)

pictures of bootpolish up soon when i am free. i miss the guys already. peace.

2004-07-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

i swear Elaine Toh from SISA is the world biggest bitch. last time, she scolded me for something i didnt even do (something some other guy did) she ACCUSED me of asking someone to cover for me for my coaching WHICH i did not. i swear i didnt the guy who got me in trouble is some ah beng. secondly, i mean hello i freaking know the stupid understudy is a commitment. i am just telling you the dates i cant go as of now doesnt mean that i am not commited to the stupid thing BY THE FUCKING WAY, even if some fucking SISA EXCO member of fucking Sally Ong is telling us, I DONT CARE i defied her and ignored her during the whole Korea trip. DO YOU FUCKING THINK I WILL LISTEN TO HER NOW?! I ONLY LISTEN TO LAURA REID OK! THE FUCKING VICE PRESIDENT BECAUSE SHE RESPECTS AND DOES NOT ASSUME. fucking bitch of elaine. i hope you rot in hell. cant believe you were from Mg. By the way, the only cool thing about her is that she looks like a transsexual. fucking bitch.

2004-07-11T21:54:00.000+08:00

life has been good to me lately. i actually understand functions. i got great friends in shan mel wen shum gina jess mark daryl etc. a great boyfriend (<3 you). today was a great day too.

woke up had A-math tuition but it passed by really quickly. then to crystal jade for lunch. jess came over. talked alot then i went to church and watched my baby strum his guitar and sing. haha so cute. my dad just got a promotion so we had a really nice dinner and i just came back from taking a stroll around my estate with daryl.

yep so basically my life has been near perfect for the past week and i am quite happy with it. talked to shan for an hour yesterday and it was very nice talking to her. heart-to-heart talks are always nice.

i want maltesers ice cream and julian has yet to buy it for me. JULIAN!

2004-07-07T17:20:00.000+08:00

Your Icecream Flavour is...Chocolate!

You are the all time favorite, chocolate! Turning white kids black since the 1800s. Staining carpets, car seats, and bed sheets for centuries. One thing is for sure, you will never go out of style. You can't go wrong with chocolate!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

haha. right.

2004-07-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

indecisions of young minds.

me being so bloody indecisive dont know what to do with timothy anymore. I REALLY LOVE HIM. as in deep down i know if i were to spend the rest of my life with someone, it would be tim but maybe you know, fate brought us together earlier than destiny meant for us to be? i dont know. i am silly

tomorrow, hazri(funny acsi guy) and me would be going around the canteen selling tickets for acsi drama night so you better bring money ($20) to buy from us and not the band people. bleah haha plus, if you buy a ticket, hazri would do his spongebob imitation which is like damn cute! haha

yep.

2004-07-04T21:55:00.000+08:00

damn. i wrote a bloody long entry. blogger screwed up. not in the mood to type again. tomorrow. bleah that entry was mighty good too.

2004-07-04T21:37:00.000+08:00

i am sucha potato queen - the potato queen wannabe (jolene)

yesterday was shan's birthday. i hope she enjoyed the surprises we gave her. deb and shuj planned it. haha like last year shan didnt realise anything. haha i hope. i met her at like 2 at great world and we were wearing like really matching stuff. met joshua lee on the bus to town and yea he looks the same.
funny bits of yesterday:
1) Jolene and i did flag day for kk. we made up a song haha:
OOOOOO..please donate a dollar
for the sick little children
you can do so much
for the little kids at KK!
2) me and her were laughing sooo bloody hard at everything cursing at everyone person who ignored us
3) scary part: these two huge malays guys walked ignored me when i asked for donations right, so i was like "Thanks for ignoring me" like really loudly (i didnt notice i said it so loud)They came back a while later and asked "Who was the one who said thanks for ignoring me?" they were really fierce therefore, lene and i, being the ehm..vulnerable frightened school girls, were well, scared but i said "Me?" then they suddenly smiled and donated all their coins to me. WAHAHAHAHAHA

yep, shannon's birthday was quite cool. realised from all the type of clothes we all wore, that we are all growing up. like last year or something we wont be so grow up and stuff. oh well. getting old.

tim and i are like no longer seriously together. kind of on a break. a holiday from each other? a hiatus? yea. cos i am not ready for him. i feel like fate brought us together way earlier than destiny meant for us to be. i really love him and i know if i were to choose someone to be my soulmate, it would be timothy. but just not right now. it is too early to decide. so yea. i need to talk to shannon when she gets home. bleah. so tired. gotta do work.bye

2004-07-02T22:56:00.000+08:00

life has been blissfully busy. haha i love having a busy life. makes me feel kind of wanted and keeps my mind wandering.

PE today was insane. volleyball is nice but my forearms are painful.
debbie is really really really good at volleyball. dont know how she does it. the ball just listens to her. me being the total opposite of her managed to hit two times. haha i suck at ball games except for rugby (i hope).

I officially declare Ms Tan the weirdest/coolest teacher in mgs. She is so funny during lit. plus she got scolded by ms kon for suggesting a half day off. haha if i force fed you ten wan tons, i expect you to vomit seven out. wantons will never be the same again

shannon's birthday tomorrow so you be nice souls and msg her at 12 and wish her a VERY VERY HAPPY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY by the way, shannon, if you are reading this, thanks for all the talks we had and all the memories shared. your birth is truly a blessing to many and never ever doubt yourself and your abilities alright? good girl

BUY TICKETS FOR ACSI DRAMA NIGHT FROM ME PLEASE i need to sell off my tickets. =( so basically my life is revolving around school, skating, coaching and rehearsels for acsi drama night(i get to act as a bloody taitai which i actually enjoy haha) the cast is hilarious and the script is so funny. the leads are seriously brilliant actors and they really dare to do stuff so you'll see some really funny stuff. rehearsels are mainy made of me sitting there like an idiot waiting for junxiang and the small indian boy to be free to rehearse or when it is our turn. but the little sec 1 boy is i think intimidated by me HE IS NOT DOING WHAT JUNXIANG TOLD HIM TOO! haha. oh well. but he is a cute little boy so all shall not fault him for that. haha i am like the only girl in this whole auditorium of boys running in and out so it is quite scary. lucky there is like nice people around like ehm the coporal guy, jx, dinesh yea. hmmm. i am quite anti-social. nevermind

tim and i are drifting apart. is it the lack of seeing each other? the lack of communication? i dont know. weird the way relationships work. sigh.

2004-06-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

haha kari. if the ball was silver, i wouldn't know. i dont watch euro

anyway I SURVIVED 45 MINS OF DARKNESS AND HEAT! wahahaha. ok it is nothing much but the candles were giving off alot of heat.

i would do a proper update tomorrow. gonna talk to hunny now. love him! haha

2004-06-23T22:49:00.000+08:00

when watching the old summer re-runs on tv, i hope you remember the summer love we shared

Timothy Xie Jiaxi - i friggin wish you are reading this right now. i dont see why football and work are seemingly more important than me. please do explain why the hell are you willing to stay up and watch football while the sweaty men on screen dont even know you are staying up watching them run after a blackandwhite checkered ball. i know you like checkered stuff but if you want, i would paint myself checkered and eat till i become 'ball-ish' and kick myself around just to get your attention for (insert length of football game)mins. work i understand. but you stay up late and rush your work like hell i dont see you rushing that much for me. you are rarely on time unless i arrive really late and arugh i am not making any sense anymore. bye

shanghai tomorrow. so not in the mood.

2004-06-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

competition was fine. two firsts and one third. haha not like anyone cares but thats ok. inter-school. bleah. sucks.

i finally fixed my comment thing. haha sorry bekx.i know it is annoying but i am too lazy to fix it. you know me.

watched harry potter with kari and mark today. it kind of doesnt relate to the story at all. i mean why did the firebolt come out at the end? and they didnt explain why sirius tore the fat lady into pieces.

which reminds me, i think new found glory's new vid looks a tad like lotr. the end bit with the giants and all. nevermind.

just finished two really short book reviews for school. i am going to get so low for them haha.

my dad promised me a phone if i do well for term 3. 6230 or e700a? hmmmm decisions decisions.

i think waiting for tv shows are a waste of my life. haha.

2004-06-19T22:53:00.000+08:00

it was professionals who built the titanic and an amateur who brought us the ark

love. what is your take on it. whatever it is, mine is that love is easy. eng soon begged to differ. i dont know why he did but to me, love is the easiest thing on Earth it is like breathing and oxygen. you dont know that you love and you oversee it but you dont know that without love, the world around you cease to exist. without love, you wont be reading this because your parents wont love you so much as you buy a computer for you. besides, you wont even have had the chance to live if there wasnt love because your parents would not be married in the first place. without love, you will never suceed in your chosen sport because if the passion and dream is not there, then what are you fighting for? without love for yourself, you wont feed yourself or even take a simple bath. doing everything out of love. the world is built on four simple letter. l o v e. in all kinds and types. it doesnt matter which because it is still love. humans are like building blocks and love is the thing that connects everything together. everything makes sense because there is love.

competition tomorrow and minimal people watching. what is the use. bleah. skating is never a thing between the skaters and judges, skating is something for large audiences for the skaters to enchant and delight. skating is a sharing sport. bleah

saw hunnyboo today he forgot to bring my notebook again. sigh.

2004-06-19T22:28:00.000+08:00

competition tomorrow. arugh.

2004-06-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

and someone told me
to grab onto a cloud
and let it take me away
fly me away
i dont have to fear
it will only bring me to one place
and that is to heaven
to you

part of an old song i wrote for my friend's band. bad stuff. they split in the end. haha maybe cos of this song. haha oh well.

i think i just hurt my mum. cos she came in sat on my bed and was staring at my com, i was chasing her out. imagine, your own daughter telling you that she hates you and you tell her ok since you hate me, i will run away from home and her replying ok why not. bleah. i shouldn't have said that. i really should not have.

2004-06-16T22:25:00.000+08:00

lynette and i have a combined hatred for blutack and aircon as a combination. haha cos when we stick posters up with blutack, then switch the aircon on, the bloody posters come falling down. bloody thing. anyway with the same weird hatred? haha silly question.

nicola and i are both whining about our inability to do our elements properly (we are competing against each other). bleah. am nervous but the rink has the MGS flag flying high. haha.

yep. am tired. waiting for celena to come online. toot face. bleah. waiting waiting.

i like watching as told by ginger. very thought provoking. now i want to be in a band..church band. but titus is already in one and the rest sucks. jeremy is old. tim cannot make it =p kidding. and yea. am hurt.

2004-06-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

whoever said love isnt forever?

1S class gathering wasnt really class. i went at like four and only deb and sab was there but we (yoon guan shing tiff sab deb me)had quite a good time yes? (except shing and guan just sat there) haha. hunny helped to start the fire. he was ehm..the fire keeper? i dont know. the crabsticks was real good- thanks deb! and sab!

shing (on the phone) : who's there?
sab: me debbie tiffany yoon vanessa
-after awhile-
sab:EH! sounds like alot of people ah!
haha sorry just found that funny.

--antiquated. `say you love me one last time. |happySEVENTHmonthtoushunny| //.?starburn. says:
so? many people who say they are in my school but i never see before what
m i a - o ak t r E e. `vicky] says:
hahahaha.
m i a - o ak t r E e. `vicky] says:
no wonder ur s_or_

idiot mia. SHORTIES UNITE!

--hunny: i know i promised to put up like memories of us but hehe lazy..tomorrow i swear!

2004-06-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SEVENTH MONTH HUNNY!

we have been through so much and though people have tried to tear us apart, we were undaunted. through it all, we have survived through my darkest times and you never fail to cheer me up. thank you hunny with this, i end with a:

HAPPY SEVENTH MONTH TO US!

2004-06-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

yay! 1S reunion tomorrow at sab's place. am happy. miss my dear old 1S. i still remember debbie's rock hard brownies and when we (sab deb rach me) got in trouble with mrs chew for ehm..playing with water in class. oh how we have grown. haha.

2004-06-13T22:45:00.000+08:00

why is everyone dying? first my ggf then ronald regan then alvin's dad (-edit phew no alvin mun. scared me to bits but still alvin is my age which is 15 this year). wah-at?

i dont know why i hate you. i love you for than anything yet when i hate you, i really really hate you. perhaps i love you too much and therefore, i expect perfection from you and when you show just a little bit of weakness, i fault you for it and i know it isnt your fault but i cant help blaming you. but dont worry i still love you

competition:
Artistic - 0904
Jump and Spin - 1338
Freestyle - 1505
such irregular times. on such a weird day. Fathers' Day. doubt anyone would come. it is next sunday 20th anyway. i am not nervous for artistic, competing against myself. jump and spin i am damn nervous CELENA!!! TRAIN!! bleah. rarely see her havent even gotten our costumes. Freestyle against Nicola from UWC. bleah hate skating too. (-edit nono. i love skating. really)

my von dutch skirt is niceee..haha same to my von dutch shirts. am in love... haha. got tim two shirts one from bathing ape (APE SHALL NEVER KILL APE) haha and another from oxide. i got new shirts too and a new skirt. von dutch and le coq sportif and a random shirt and ehm..armani exchange (am happy =D) gotta go. bye

2004-06-12T23:55:00.000+08:00

as I flew above the Singapore night view, I only saw bright lights the only assurance I got was that I knew the guy I loved was behind one of those lights and I knew I was home.

2004-06-11T19:56:00.000+08:00

[ Name ]: vanessa
[ Born in ]: Hong Kong
[ Resides in ]: Singapore
[ Good student?]: haha hell no. you crazy?
[ Eyes ]: darkest brown =D
[ Hair ]: black usually brown under sun and when not tied.
[ Shoe size ]: 7 and a half.

Last time you..

[ Had a nightmare ]: last night. was haunted by my ggf's face
[ Said "I love you" and meant it ]: just msged tim. so just now
[ Ate at McDonald's ]: this afternoon!! boughts macs for my little cousins
[Dyed your hair ]: never did. only one in the gang not to do so?
[ Brushed your hair ]: last year i think.
[ Washed your hair ]: last night
[ Cried ]: yesterday funeral
[ Called someone ]: afternoon.
[ Smiled ]: just did. ny extended family is insane
[ Laughed ]: just did
[Talked to an ex ]: last night. andre.
[ Smoke? ]: when i was like two.
[ Do drugs? ]: i ate panadol last week. does that count as a drug heh.
[ Have sex? ]: last night with winnie the pooh. no I AM KIDDING
[ Sleep with stuffed animals? ]: last night. i sleep with froggy every night
[ Have a dream that keeps coming back?]: before exams i always dream of this neon lighted maze which i cant find my way out of.
[ Play an instrument? ]: before i came to hong kong tried to play my piano haha. forgeddit too long without playing.
[ Believe there is life on other planets? ]: i never really gave thought to that.
[ Remember your first love? ]: yea.
[ Still love him/her? ]: so yea like DUH
[ Read the newspaper? ]: dont know. oh the plane
[ Have any straight friends? ]: almost all i hope are straight
[ Consider love a mistake? ]: no. it is fate
[ Like the taste of alcohol? ]: yea.
[ Have any secrets? ]: shitloads
[ Have any pets ]: a dog a tortise and two hamsters =D
[ Talk to strangers who instant message you]: yea three words. who are you?
[ Wear hats? ]: yea. von dutch hats are a beautiful creation
[ Have any piercings? ]: no
[ Have any tattoos? ]: nope but want to though
[ Have an obsession? ]: yes an obsession with love
[ Collect anything? ]: little things of me and tim.
[ Have a best friend? ]: gina brwenzie.
[ Like your handwriting? ]: you kidding me
[ Have any bad habits? ]: way loads.
[ Care about looks? ]: not much
[ Boy/girlfriend's looks?]: doesnt bother me i think he is beautiful. whatever you think, i dont give two hoots

Current:

[ Dress ]: le cock de sportif (ok i cant spell) shirt and fbts
[ Mood ]: oily. haha
[ Make-up ]: dont wear dont care
[ Music ]: science of selling yourself short by less than jake
[ Taste ]: some teochew thing my cousin's grandma made. damn nice
[ Hair ]: ehm..usual ponytail
[ Annoyance ]: the nagging pain at the back of my elbow
[ Smell ]: pomelo.
[ Thought ]:what to write for my thought. timmy of cos.
[ Book ]: the girls he adored by jonathan nasaw
[ Color ]: current colour? green?
[ Refreshment ]: none
[ Favorite Celebrity ]: bruce lee elvis presley

Last Person:

[ You Touched ]: my fat cousin
[ You Talked to ]: my cousin's boyfriend
[ You Hugged ]: tim
[ You Instant messaged ]: derek
[ You Yelled at ]: mr fat my cousin
[ you Kissed]:tim. no actually my baby cousin. but nevermind. tim.

Who do you want to:

[ Kill ]: ** ***. (winks at shan)
[ Slap ]: same as above
[ Tickle ]: hunny.
[ Talk To ]: same as above.

Favorite..

[Teacher ]: ms tan
[Professor]: my godfather. my real godfather.
[Fruit]: apples cherries
[Veggie:] ehm..i dont know their names
[Radio Station:] 98.0

Others..

[Been Asked Out:] yah
[Me or You:] you
[Coke or Pepsi:] coke
[cursuive or print:] depends
[Day or night:] night is where hong kong comes alive. no i dont know.
[Guys or Girls:] depends
[Gap or Old Navy:] ehm..paul frank
[Silver or Gold:] silver
[Lipstick or Lipgloss]: Lipgloss
[Aim or Phone:] phone
[TV or Computer:] computer
[Even or Odd:] even
[Coffee or Hot Chocolate:] coffee
[Lace or Satin:] neither
[Jeans or cords:] Jeans
[Sweater or Sweatshirt:] Sweatshirt.
[Wool or Cotton:] Cotton
[Tshirt or Tanktop:] depends
[Last Four Digits of Home #:] 8362
[Last Four Digits of Cellular #:] 0562

Friends...

[Most Trustworthy:] gina wen
[Most Honest:] jess
[Most Shy:] shy? none
[Most Quiet:] wen when around guys
[Most Talkative:] jess.
[Most Sweet:] tim!
[Most Athletic:] ehm..who. sab
[Most Fun:] shan
[Most Creative:] rong
[Most Smart:] mel beth
[Most Outgoing:] mark leung.
[Last Song Listened To:] science of selling yourself short by less than jake
[Last Movie Watched in Theaters:] shrek
[Last Movie Watched Period:] la brasseire. hong kong show
[Last Person Over:] cant remember. rong and mark foo
[Last Person Seen:] in singapore? mark leung
[Last Person Who IMed You:] odelia's sister.
[Last Person Who You IMed:] same
[Do you look like any celebrities?:] yea. william hung. damn chio. no i am kidding i really think i look like him then i'll be rich. haha

ripped this off cel's blog. haha. photos galore when i get back yay!

2004-06-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

God make coke, God make pepsi, God made me so damn sexy - my cousin Macaire

my cousins are insane. the two little ones are so cute! haha. gonna send them to school tomorrow. yay!

cremation today. i was really really affected by the last look thing. and my godgrandmother was like seriously wailing and screaming his name and i realised although everyone has different memories of him, everyone loves him because he is him and he has been him all his life.

heavy stuff. sorry.

my cousin is so fat haha he is doing weights now and our auntie and uncle is like cheering him on. cute. haha. be back soon.

2004-06-09T23:27:00.000+08:00

just realised my godgrandfather is in hell. he wasnt a believer. i dont get it. even though i am sure that my faith is in Him but still, why even though he was a good man, why doesnt he deserve a place in Heaven? He worked hard for his family, was good to everyone who wasnt his family, was even better to his own. so why?

2004-06-09T23:10:00.000+08:00

in hong kong now. attented the funeral cum ceremony. was kind of sad. i was holding back my tears cos no one was really crying. his photo was displayed and he was smiling. people told me they heard about me from him like how i was such a good girl and won so many medals. flattery.

i hope he is smiling now. in heaven. with God even though he is taoist. bleah. oh well. nothing much to say. my cousins are crazy.

i love tim. love you hunny!

2004-06-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

to find perfect existence through imperfect existence

that was from some nickelodeon show. i realised how amazing that quote really is. It is really up to how you interpret it but to me, it means to be happy with what you have because what you have is perfect for you no matter how bad or screwed your life is. i dont know. nevermind.

HONG KONG TOMORROW!. wait..funeral tomorrow. shucks.

today was a good day for a change. passed my fs 7 test i am legally freestyle 7!! the highest level is 10 so i am almost there (crosses fingers and arms over chest). landed 18 double loops so i am very very happy.

so basically my parents are trying to break tim and i up which they are obviously not going to because well, i have been through like 3 relationships and none of them are as good as this one. this is as good as it gets and i am soooo not letting go.

my phone is confiscated until my next common test which i hope is good enough to please my parents and till then, i can only sneak little chats with my hunny. bah. but thats fine. if you want to talk to me, leave a voice mail k? cos thats the only way i know you want to contact me.

hunny is going to the linkin park concert. without me. he is going with jeremy and friends. ok fine so maybe i did tell him that i didnt like linkin park haha. oh well. going to put music in my mp3 player now. be prepared for a total cantonese playlist when i come back. I LOVE HONG KONG SERIALS. have been watching so much the past few days just to get back to my roots. cool stuff. now i love my country so much..HONGKONG!!! ok not country. city.

2004-06-06T20:50:00.000+08:00

van is VERY worried. my parents are allegely out with Tim's parents sorting things out. shit. here we go again.

2004-06-06T19:50:00.000+08:00

baddaybaddaybadday...

my mum is restricting me to only going online on alternate days. says that i am not getting enough sleep. what bullcrap.

why is sally the director of events all of a sudden? scary.

the wonderful mum of mine took away my picture and neoprints of tim and i. -.- grr. so there was two neoprints that had us (me tim mark rong) kissing and they related it to porn and orgies. like what the hell? neither me nor hunny nor shan sees the connection. speaking of shannon, she has yet to call me back. that git. x) no worries i still love you shan

received the cd from korea today. i miss korea. i miss running around in the snow in just my shirt and pants. i miss eating in the czech boys' room and basically messing up their room. i miss training with the mexicans and agustina. the cute sweet agustina. =( but most of all, i miss my roommates
nightly judo lessons from Lila. actually, she practising judo on me and not actually teaching. bleah. my fingers are tired. i hope mypicgallery is working. photos are up if you didnt notice

hunnyeeyorebabytimmy: another rough patch and we are still going to emerge victorious. God has guided you and you have guided me. This is just another obstacle we have to knock down together ok? Although my parents are trying to break us up, we know they will never succeed. They just cant see love even if it walked up and introduced itself to them.

2004-06-04T23:43:00.000+08:00

i am annoyed at this. arugh. bloody thing.

2004-06-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

She would jump out of a window like the kid in The Eye and think it's funny! - mark

spent yesterday at hunny's house*. sweet timmy cooked fish fillets and carbonara for me cos i was hungry. well, he was hungry too. haha the day before was spent at mine. he BIT my nail off for dont know what weird reason haha he is crazy.

chem was a killer. 'nuff said

gonna go back to hong kong next wednesday for my godgranddad's funeral. i hate deaths. but like tim said, two choices. still, that didnt stop me from thinking. when i say my last goodbye and pay my last respects next thursday, i will never see his face anymore. never again will i be able to trace the lines and wrinkles on his face. never again will i be able to hear him laugh and talk in the hoarse voice of his. never again will i be treated like a real granddaughter by some one who isnt exactly related to me by blood.

my life will never be the same again and my godgrandfather will be nothing but fragments of memories. He wasnt a christian. All i am able to do now is hold on to those precious fragments and cry and pray that the Good Lord would have mercy on him.

Yuck. So dramatic. Shit. OH SHIAAAT OH SHIAAT OH MIANNN OH MIAANNN (winks at dee and kari) haha.

competition in about 16 days. anyone coming to cheer me on? nah guess not. haha my competitions have always been very far off from what the gang is doing. sad stuff but if you are willing to be bored to death by me, Fuji Ice Palace, near Jurong East MRT Station, 3rd Floor, time to be confirmed.

2004-06-02T23:22:00.000+08:00

ever wondered why badgers are called badger?

that crap has been spreading like wildfire in the rink and jess and mark has been irritating the shit out of me karen and dawn.

if you are really down and out, i suggest you visit my brother mark's site. download the music vid. it is so stupid and retarded. also includes his stupid antics.

hunny came over today helped me with a couple of math questions. some of the answers are soooo simple yet i couldnt get it. how stupid can i get?

going to go to his house tomorrow. watching the first two harry potter movies. yay

i am hungry. going to cook noodles

2004-06-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

can't believe i was taught and trained by elvis stojko's coach. whoa no shit man

2004-06-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

BYE DOUG BYE LEE

olympic seminar is finally over. doug and lee are at home in canada now and the only time i'll see them is during the olympics. long way to go. arugh

really Embarrassing moment today. before training actually ended, during the mass session of like spins and move-in-the-field session right, i was doing this spiral on which i tripped and fell pretty badly (there was blood heh). then i got up again. but the bad bit was that everyone and i mean everyone was looking at me. people on the ice, in the rink, outside the rink cos when i fell, the sound was pretty loud and the people outside the rink clapped for me when i got up. which was i dong know why but Embarrassing nonetheless. i got up and curtseyed (sp?!) to them because it was only polite to do so and they clapped even louder and Anna or whoever was like "VAN YOU ARE FAMOUS!" haha. right. famous for being a total screw up and klutz. haha oh well i was blushing pretty badly.

my legs are numb. seven hours of training. can someone scream insane for me? i am too tired.

got my programs done. competing against nicola. pretty ladaye!

i miss timmy. he is at the airport with his cell group picking remy's brother up. My inbox is flooded by the sudden wave of mass e-mails about Emil (kari), VANS shoes (mel) and parties (dee and bekx). i need to go read my mail now.

::Kari. Have fun in KL with milly! will miss you tons!

2004-05-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

i am going to the toilet anyone want to come with me? - rong

i have no idea why that is funny but i dont know it is the way she said it. haha supposed to go for chem in the morn but i realised that it was A band and mel wasnt there so i decided to skip it and go out with rong and sze. had a nice talk with them. szelin is damn nice! paid for our lunch and sent us to park mall for rong to meet mark.

Training was good. Landed my double loop and double axel --> double axel was landed off ice. heh. leung screwed up my music. well not his fault but NERO screwed up the music leung prepared for me. stupid nero.

FIGURE SKATERS ARE MASOCHISTIC. I was doing my double loop and double lutz over and over again and falling today. There are now officially a malicious looking bump on my right ankle, two swollen knees, a swollen butt cheek AND a swollen back. wait not forgetting a swollen left hand. BUT i am still very happy and glad that i have all these (proves that i do train!) haha therefore, i conclude that WE ARE ALL MASOCHISTIC!. skaters i mean.

pictures of my cute little yi ching and the REALLY PRETTY sophie up soon. plus, mark the begger, dawn the mudskipper, victoria the puffer fish, jess the roach last but not least, karen the crow.

2004-05-30T16:43:00.000+08:00

whatever i throw to you, you must catch - doug

woke up at seven again this morning. i mean what is the point of holidays when i have to wake up so bloody early every morning?! tomorrow i have chem lessons at 8 sharp. olympic seminar at 5-10. then tues, olympic seminar at 7.30. INSANE. bleah

had a heart-to-heart with mummy today. talked about alot of stuff. mostly about my friend T haha timothy. My mum wanted to know how he is helping me and why i like him. Easy questions. Whenever i am sad or angry and i vent my anger on him (which i know i shouldnt do), he'll try his best to calm me down and point out the good side of the "bad" experience. <3!

What doug said this morning (quote above) reminds me a lot about life. No one would catch the -ball- for you. it either hits you or you catch it. but, if it hits you, there is still two choices. Either you let yourself be hit and fall or it hits you but you still catch it. i know doug didnt really mean that he just meant some weird thing about jumps. but i was bored and my mind drifted.

arugh. i know you still like me. dont deny it. you were nice to me at the start of the day but later, you were just some mean jackass. bloody hell. I am not jealous of you being close to her i got Tim but you dont have to be mean to me.

sorry very random. where is jess? in mark's place. he just went out to fetch her. editing skating music. competition in 21 days and i am not even half prepared. diediedie. what am i to do? what am i to do?

Karen is singing "Deliver us" Prince of Egypt. Nice song but hard to skate to. Eyes on me? Faye wong. Hmmmm

bored.

whoever who reads this please leave a comment

however high tech this world is, it will never change the course of destiny - some movie

2004-05-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

but she doesn't enjoy me as much - melmo

HELLO WORLD! ok fine mark's phrase caught on to me. anyway, skipped walkathon for the stupid olympic seminar (sounds so professional but no it is not). i tell you, maybe my expectations were too high or something. it is soooo boring. quote of the day: i have never done so many axels in my life. lee made us do so many thousand axels bleah and watching some canadian skater on video jump over and over again. hope tomorrow will be better

On a brighter note, i saw Lai and Donkey today. They were going to the LOTR thing at science centre which i must say, though the costumes were brilliant and gorgeous, it was really boring. The only really cool thing was the "dead-boromir-on-boat" thing. Gina and Becca and Me kept imagining him suddenly just sitting up and talking through the barrier. very scary.

Lunch was at Nooch where we(Mark,Karen,Jessica) embarrassed ourselves. or rather, jess embarrassed us for us. IT WAS SOOOO embarrassing!! wont go into details but anyway,
Jessica: Hey, didnt mean to get angry at you but really i was really really annoyed and i really didnt want to talk about Timothy and you kept bugging me with that hand thing. Sorry.

Doesnt Hail* Satan remind you of Heil Hitler? random thought.

"There is no heaven of glory bright, and no hell where sinners roast. Here and now is our day of torment! Here and now is our day of joy! Here and now is our opportunity! Choose ye this day, this hour, for no redeemer liveth!"
The Satanic Bible: The Book of Satan IV:2

Hmmmmmmmm? I dont believe. I believe Jesus is our redeemer. There is a Heaven and a Hell. So if there isnt, is there no reward for doing good? Is there no punishment for doing evil? So you mean if there isnt a Heaven or a Hell, are you trying to say there is no justice. I believe Jesus died for us. He saved us because we are His children and thus, we are loved.

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all thing, hopes all things, endures all thing" 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

2004-05-28T21:53:00.000+08:00

this is weird. eunice will be gone soon. cant imagine physics without her answering the questions. Mr Lim is always calling her to answer anyway. took loads of photos. will be up soon.
today was such a bad-good day. went to the police station to report my loss of my walkathon card, then dental (urk!), did math. loads of math actually. haha. i am turning -into- a new leaf (guess who said that!) haha. no i am turning over a new leaf.
finally satisfied my craving for crystal jade porridge haha now hunny has a craving for porridge. sorry beaver. i wonder if my dear mrs kerpal* is still craving for tom yam haha.
just realised i have to get up at 6.30 tomorrow for training. some olympic seminar. damn stupid but at least i get to skip walkathon. but..hmmm.
photos of me and shan and our crazy day out are currently being uploaded onto mypicgallery. taking the longest time ever. the chinese POPCORN thing today was total crap and i thought it was supposed to be really fun. at least i got popcorn (damn i dont even LIKE popcorn).
jess the roach and dawn the mudskipper cancelled on me today. stupid 17yrolds went clubbing. FINE LEAVE ME TO WAKE UP AT 6.30 TOMORROW MORNING ALL ALONE IN THE COLD COLD RINK WITH MARK FOR COMPANY! HOW CRUEL CAN YOU Be!!!!!!!! am hurt. humph
met timm today. for about an hour. he was really sad. bad day lah. -dont read on if you dont wanna hear anything about tim and me-
beaver: we have been through so much together and this rough patch would be a slight bump compared to our other misadventures. never give up and yes we need to keep our bills in check. cheer up hunny. you know i love you.

shucks.

2004-05-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

haha new blog after how many thousand years :) brilliant design by mel MO as you probably noticed. *beams and bows to mel*
really nice green-ish layout aint it? yes. I am talking to myself. haha. report book was bad. parents are mad. hey that rhymes! haha. have to start studying already. cannot continue like that man. sure die. Timmy is still at band. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM! he hurt his finger and he is still playing. Bass. (looks at wen) haha. SHOUTOUTS!

::Melmo. thanks for the layout. i like it quite a bit. =D you stay short and funkaye. by the way, i bloody need to get Denver Habour. Borders sell Thursday but not DH. but at a whooping 23 bucks though.
::Brwen. cheer up babe. People are just so annoying at times but always remember you will always have my support and love forever ok? bestfriends!
::Timothy. hunny! hope your finger gets better. sorry for all the times i just lose my temper. really petty i am. sorry. will try to change
::Shann. ** *** is weird. we had a fight? we did? haha strange. my mum keeps questioning me about it. strange. ** *** thinks i only got friends in b5 -.- she forgot like the other 8 classes? strange
::WenDeeBekxTraceKari. Thanks for letting me cry on tuesday. alot of pent up emotions. Thanks for comforting me!
::B4. Thanks for -taking me in- on tuesday. really appreciate it.
k ehm..that was long. haha sorry. k i better go do my Physics (stupidphysicsstupidgayfag)

hello vee.

2004-05-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

Tis I, Mel Mo. Um, just putting in a testing entry to see if it shows up alright.